Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend’s hand, ‘Cause everytime she’d wipe her rear I’d see the promised land….
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down… Can’t wait to brush my teeth
He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don’t worry: I’m a bottle of wine!
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $$$ per minute.
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there’s a wet pussy, there’s a happy cock!
1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, ‘HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?’
I want to suck you… I want to lick you… I wanna move my tongue all over you… I want to feel you in my mouth… that’s how u… eat an ice cream…
if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .
A teacher asked “wot part of the body goes to heaven first?” A child replied “feet” - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
A man said 2 his doctor ‘everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection’ the doctor said ‘That’s because u look like a cunt!
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
