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11AugCrazy Funny Sexy SMS Messages !

Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.

Tujhe dekhker aksar
Aajate hain mujhe chakker
Samajh nahin aata mujhe
Tum moannis ho ya muzakker

1 Person : Season Offer
Aik rupey ki do
Sardar : kya bhi kya
1 Person : Gand pe laat

Wife : Pehlay tum daily karte they phir weekly aur ab monthly karte ho .. Kyun ?
Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon.

Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
“W”ant
“O”ne
“M”an for
“E”very
“N”ight

Kya khel ishq ne khela hai
kyun latka hua ye kela hai
dil kal bhi mera akela tha
lun aaj bhi mera thakela hai
ye money nahin chhooti lun ki
hum kitni bar naha bethe
din men panch bar naha bethe
Dekha julie film ka gana kitna pyara hai

Aandu, pandu & gandu teen dost hote hain.
1st aandu jo randiyoon ka chokidaar tha.
2nd pandu jo randiyoon ka dallal tha.
or 3rd wo jo mera sms phadraha hai

choos lo na
chosnay k liya tu hai
tum bhi chosva laina
main bhi choos don ge
plz
plz
plz
plz
chooslo
yeh lolly pop

Teacher : Hame in machron ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

When nobody luvs u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody think about u, every 1 ignores u, then go and sit in the corner close ur eyes and think Bhanchod Akhir Chakar kya hai?

Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..

Boy to Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kia hai ?
Girl : Meri dono tango kay darmian main aik lakeer hai.
Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kiay hai ?
Boy : Lakeer ka faqeer.

all couple have different phases of sex life, age: 20 din raat, age: 28 roz raat,
age: 38 jume-e-raat, age: 48 eid shabraat, age: 58 only JAZBAAT…

Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.

Dost 1 : Apni girl friend ko chand mat kehna.
Dost 2 : woh kyun?
Dost 3 : Kehtay hain us per bhi 3 4 log char chukay hain.

Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega

Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation, putting his location in a
woman’s destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?

A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain’t a kiss without some tongue.So
open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!

thora sa karne do
Plz thora sa karne do
kisi ko pati nahi chale ga
bus thora sa karne do
aik chota sa sms

Niple niple little star …can i suck you in my car …up above the breast so
have…always milky never dry…let me touch it never shy…in the bra it
will be dry …

sex karo daily,agar wo mil jay akali
agar na mily akali tu pakar lo us ke sahale,
agar na mily sahale,tu zindabad hathale,
par sex karo daily

Jo mila aurat ko mila!! Hont milay chuswany ko, Mammay milay dabwanay ko, Phuddi mili chudwanay ko. Aur apko kia mila??? LUN!!! aor wo b sirf hilaney ko??? so
hilao…

Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground
floor.

Kashte phasee bhanhwar main ab mojain hi par lagaeein gi
Jab apne naseeb hi gandoo hon to mojain bahn yawain gi

4 facts
1 mammay aur jazbat jitne dabao utne ubhrte hain
2 snake aur pudi jahan deko mar do.
3 doodh aur gand phtne ki awaz nahin ati
4 pani aur lun apna rasita khud bana laite hain

Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife’s underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?

Aurat k Doodh k 5 faide
1. Boil nhi karna parta
2. Kharab nhi hota
3. Har umar k Mard ki pasand
4. Dil kash packing main
5. Aik k saath dusra FREE

in Just For Fun. 197 Comments

09AugBreaking News SMS Messages !

FBI has handed over the investigations to Pakistani Police who have reported to arrest a suspect who claims that he wanted to have coffee on the 65th floor but their planes didn’t land properly.

First lady is pregnant and FBI claims that Osama is directly or indirectly involved in it.

BBC reports that Gen. Musharraf has requested Nawaz Sharif to come back and take over. NO QUESTIONS ASKED…..

While giving an exclusive interview to CNN Film star REEMA has offered that if ” Bush - Afghan problem can be solved on ” Kuch lo Kuch Do” basis, then she has offered herself.

Americans have offered Talibans to handover Osama in exchange of Herion of Titanic. But Taliban say that we already have Heroin and please give the Hero of Titanic.

Latest marketing strategy of United Airline ” Fly with us and we will take you straight to your office”

CNN Report: US Army troops arrived in Khi, will attact Afghanistan after having Tea at Bakda Hotel in Kharadar. They say that if WTC would have been in Pakistan there would have been no casualties because nobody comes before 11.

American mothers now saying to their children ” So jao warna Osama aa jaye ga”

Thats all from the news room, stay tuned…………..for more inside reports……… (

in Just For Fun. 0 Comments

05AugFunny Teasing SMS Messages !

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across
the room?

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have
lost mine.

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Grab yer bag Doll…you’ve just pulled…

Greetings and salivations

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called.He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hey babe…can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

Hey babe…can you suck start a Harley?

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!

Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Hi. Are you cute?

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

I am a killer,I kill people for money…..But because you are my friend,I’ll kill you for nothing!

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

I am not your type … I am not inflatable.

I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils…

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

If I’d had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents !

If you have no voice: SCREAM…… If you have no legs: RUN……… If you have no hope: INVENT…

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

I’m a frog but if u kiss me I’ll turn into a prince

I’m easy. Are you?

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

I’m good at maths, U+I=69

I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

I’m sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

In case of fire read this message……………………………….I SAID IN
CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Is your name Gillette? …coz you’re the best a man can get.

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?

It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

I’ve just moved you to the top of my ‘to do’ list.

I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Kill one you’re a murderer, kill 10 you’re a serial murderer, kill them all, you’re GOD.

Like the look of your crotch.

Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything … dial my number!

My feelings for you are like the sea. ” Wild and romantic ? ” “No, they make me sick.”

Nice dress, it’d look good on my bedroom floor

Nice perfume… but do you really need to marinate in it?

No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??

Of course there’s lots of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d love to catch and mount back at my place.

One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me?

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

Read in a hospital… The psychiatrist may not be disturbed

roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t…

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

There’s just one thing your eyes haven’t told me yet….you’re name.

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:…try again…again…maybe you are just not sexy?…one more time…hey don’t force it ugly!!!

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain’t 3.5 inches and it sure ain’t floppy.

Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!

Was your fathera thief ? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that
good.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she’s ready to fuck!

Will you be my Xmas cracker? I’d really like to pull you.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

You are never too blond to learn !!!

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

in Just For Fun. 2 Comments

05AugFunny Sexy One Liner SMS Messages

Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey
jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

If I received anickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have fivecents.

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt
up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

Don’t feel sad, don’t feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I wanna tap that
ass.

Excuse me, I’m looking for a friend…do you want to be my
friend?

I’ve got the ship, you’ve got the harbor … what say we tie
up for the night?

You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on
earth tonight.

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

If I could be anything, I’d love to be your bathwater.

Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, “Now that I’ve broken the ice, lets talk”

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

You are a 9.999. Well, you’d be a perfect 10 if you were
with me.

You’re good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a
perfect square?

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you
will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you’ll never have multiple orgasm again!

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word … MOI!!

Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn’t have if you didn’t have a computer.

Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now….. sorry I will leave, I can’t find a brain.

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

There are three girls in the sixth grade … A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops ? ………… The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!

After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

HELLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

Bigamy…………..What is the penalty for bigamy?
…………… Two mothers-in-law !

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. “yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.”

Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad
luck ? “Of course, why would Friday be an exception?”

A girl phoned me the other day and said…Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever saw.

You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: if you treat me right I’ll do it your way

No men, no love, No love, no sex, No sex, no childeren, No childeren, no school, No school, no homework, No homework, no problems!

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don’t
care, me don’t cry, me just happy that a cow can’t fly!!

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

You got STYLE… You got SEX-APPEAL… You got the BRAINS… and you sure as hell got the BODY….WAIT!!!!!…SORRY….wrong number

Do you think I can live for another fourty years? … Do you drink? … No! … Do you smoke? … No! … Do you visit the whores? … No! ……. Why do you want to live another fourty years?

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile …. but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. “I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die.”

Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

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04AugSome Rib Tickling SMS Messages

Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey…..PoOoOoH!!!

You r my sweet SONA
I don’t want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart’s KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…

Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain

Someday u may lose ur hair.
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“dam’n I am really so cute” u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain….
waaaaahhhhhhhhh…

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone make
sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz
broken hearts have no spare parts.

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki unko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…

A good Friend is like a computer
he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles
and never DELETE you from his heart.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi