NEWS FLASH: The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one off.
NEWSFLASH* An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day!She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer!
NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they’ve already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)
NEWFLASH tell all ur female m8s dat u can get 1000 tampons for £1.No strings attacthed but 4 limited period.Its a bloody good deal!
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- Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
- Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: “noh ss!w !”. it didn’t make much sense until i read it upside down…
- Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!
- Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
- Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!
- This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
- A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser!
- HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
- Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I’d pick U coz it’s better to get hurt than have a heart without U!
- if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!
- I have the “I”.I have the “L”.I have the “O”.I have the “V”.I have the “E”… so pls
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- God made man and then rested
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
- MEN-opause MEN-strual
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
- This cat is cat a cat good cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
- I send dis fish as a sign of friendship
><((
>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE
- One day Raja and rani decided to send
One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid “This was a missed call”
- can you lend me 2000 Rs?
can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????
- terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers… and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene… plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
- Dear user,your wife can become
Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS ‘CHILD’ or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!
- A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:
- Husband seting near to his
Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband
lease slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...
- Why do couples hold hands
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?…. It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
- girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.
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- When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you…. Why should only i suffer!!!
- One day Santa
s Girlfriend asks him,
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
- When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said…Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said …Oh Shit!!!!Competition…!!! ...
- Fill in the blank…I
m ur …..friend-
Fill in the blank…Im ur …..friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must…
- Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally……Thats why boys go to college regularly….
- Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No… 1.—–I dont have brain… 2.—–I dont have sence… 3.—–I am stupid….
- If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round….Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P…
- Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don’t annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
- what happend 2 ur mobile?
what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.
- First the engagement ring, then t
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
- Last night I lay in my bed
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…then i thought where the fuck is my roof
- Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!
- If your a Vegetarian to be nice
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food
- I’m a killer, i kill people for money
I’m a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
- Its been a rough day.I got up this
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I’m afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom
- Jesus says to John come forth ill
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
- At dis moment in time 10 million people
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
- The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
- i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window… I look down & den… i lauf again
- An independant study has proven
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
- I’m @ the police station
I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
- girls are like phones.
girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected!
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I am in hospital now
I am in hospital now. After 5 minutes, I will be transferred to a surgery room. The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS.
if you fall in love there is no hope
If you fall in river there is a boat .. if you fall in well there is rope .. but if you fall in love there is no hope
If U delete this message
If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. .. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me .. & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with It?
Do you believe in love at first sight
Do you believe in love at first sight .. or do I have to walk by again??
Love is sweet poison
Love is sweet poison: .. Do not consume without your beloved’s advise .. and keep out of reach of children .. and keep it in cool and dark place.
You are like the sunshine
You are like the sunshine so warm, you are like sugar, so sweet… you are like you… and that’s the reason why I love you!
circles go on forever
If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever
L O V E .. L = Lake of Sorrows
L O V E .. L = Lake of Sorrows .. O = Ocean of Tears .. V = Valley of Death .. E = End of life….
You must be a good runner
You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always…
can I have “U”?
I have the “I”,I have the “L”,I have the “O”,I have the “V”,I have the
“E”,… so pls can I have “U”?
you are the only one for me?
What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so. When you are gone,I can’t go on. Can’t you see, that you are the only one for me?
Love is like a golden chain t
Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever!
L is for lust
L is for lust
O is for over
v is for very loveable
e is for ever
the 4 signs of love
Love is just like life
Love is just like life, its not always easy and does not always bring happiness. but when we do not stop living why should we stop loving
WHAT IS LOVE? L FOR LAND
WHAT IS LOVE? L FOR LAND OF SORROW.O FOR OCEAN OF TERAS. V FOR VELLEY OF DEATH. E FOR END OF LIFE.MISS U ALL TIME
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